Diversity 101: The Platinum Rule

Most of us were taught to follow the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have them do onto you. While this rule is helpful in many situations, frequently people do not want to be treated the way we would. Therefore, I teach the Platinum Rule goes one step further by asking us to “Do unto others as they would have us do unto them.” 

In my conflict management and team building work I daily see the importance of moving from the Golden Rule which is self-referential, to the Platinum Rule which recognizes that everyone is different. For example, personally I usually don’t get upset when others interrupt me.  However, recently while consulting on a project with an African American woman, I realized that when she is interrupted by a white man it impacts her in a totally different way than the same behavior would impact me. It is not accurate or helpful for me to assume that interrupting others is usually okay because it doesn’t bother me. In this case, the Golden Rule would actually cause harm.

Other ways people might want to be treated differently than we do include how directly they want to be communicated with, how they want to receive feedback, what builds and breaks trust for them, and how much they want to be consulted about organizational decisions that might impact them. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of ways we want to be treated that are different from each other. Following the Golden Rule ignores these differences. It is not safe to assume that others want to be treated as we do. 

So to build a strong team, remember the Platinum Rule—Do unto others as they would have you do unto them. 

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